Part I ~ For richer for poorer
One of the many facets of Marriage within Chronic illness.
During this year, with my husband, we celebrated 30 years of marriage. We didn’t anticipate the limitations now ever-present, we hadn’t even thought about that when we first married. We were young, naive, having fun (and learning about disagreement) and preoccupied with our life getting to know each other.
Our cheery celebration filled with surprises was at home, which is generally how it works now, and for some years. But I don’t begrudge that we can’t go jetting off somewhere. We are fortunate to live in a warm comfortable home, with outside space and a beautiful view to enjoy.
But, like many ME/cfs sufferers, not only has our marriage been challenged, but also the place we call our home. As over time we had to dip into any resources we had, to keep afloat while my husband cared for me and couldn’t do paid work.
It can often be a misconception by society that if someone with a chronic illness is a homeowner, they have resources to deal with insurmountable problems.
What is the relevance of my point. That the home you have both worked so hard to build together in marriage is under attack. Not in a physical sense. Well, that said you may be experiencing those ‘lovely’ calls ie. ‘When will you be paying x y or z——‘ (complete where appropriate). And yes, it churns to the pit of your stomach
But you have to grip hands, and make tough decisions, way beyond what you may feel was the remit in marriage in the first place.
We did. A few years ago now. It was heartbreaking. Hopes and plans dashed. Those aching feelings associated with it. Signing over what was to be our children’s inheritance. We had spent the previous year without central heating & with an unreliable source of hot water. It was pretty horrible, but we persevered.
Hard as it was. One of the main positive outcomes was that the difficult decision gave our children continuity and a sense of security when they really needed it.
I know that the experience and memory is weighing on my husbands mind at the moment. I pray that he can let go and be at peace about it. He did and does his very best, well he does amazingly in actual fact, way beyond what I would manage had the roles been reversed.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
If you’re going through this challenge. And I know matters like this can feel so magnified at this time of year. I pray for you that help, options and experienced advice is at hand. A shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to and prayer warriors uplifting you. It will pass. And you will get through it. Keep holding each others hands.
God bless
Penny @hopefoundinme
Give Me This Mountain ~ Graham Kendrick
Hope found in M.E. 
Thanks for writing this Penny. I’m sure it will help many others going through similar things. Congratulations on 30 years of marriage. That’s wonderful, especially given all that this illness brings xx
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Thanks so much, Emma, that’s really kind of you. And thank you for popping by to read. I hope so. We can only hope our own experience will help someone. ❤ Xxx
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Happy 30th anniversary Penny – this is what togetherness is all about and it is such a blessing when you have each other at these times xxx
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Thanks so much, Xenia. And thanks so much for reading. You are absolutely right. 💖 Xxx
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:o) xxx
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Happy 30th Anniversary Penny!! God bless you and your sweet marriage! I have been suffering from chronic pain and am still believing that the Lord will heal me. I try not to let it affect my marriage. But there are a lot of things I can’t do anymore. I am praying for your marriage!! Much love and prayers sent your way!! Donna XOXO
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Thanks so much, Donna. I appreciate you stopping by to read my post. I’m sorry that you suffer from chronic pain, I appreciate how challenging that is. I will add you to my prayers. And I am with you in believing for healing. Like you, there are many things I can’t do. All we can do is take each day at a time. God bless you & much love to you also. ❤ xxx
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Happy anniversary to you both. It’s really good to address these things as it’s both a positive reinforcement plus it helps others understand. Thank you 🙂
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Thank you so much. And thank you for popping by to read. I’m hopeful it does help understanding in some way. ❤
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Happy 30th Anniversary!🥂 I think in the end it’s not about the things we had, they come and go. It’s about the laughter, the sweet memories. I continuously beat myself up about what my son has lost from my illness. Instead of college he’s working to help pay my bills. It’s an awful pill to swallow. Sending you hugs and hoping you know you aren’t alone.🌸
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Thanks so much Mishka & thank you for popping by to read. Yes absolutely, I agree. Life isn’t about material possession, but some are part of our memories. The adjustments we have to make, & those close to us, are tough. I agree. What a loving & selfless son. Hugs to you also. I hope it helps to share experience.🌸xxx
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The challenges of chronic illness affect every aspect of our lives. Often, the burden on the “healthy” one is ignored or minimized. I was grieved as I read about the specifics of your tribulations. At the same time, I am relieved to know that you rely on God for all your needs. Merry Christmas!
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Thanks so much, Rose. You are so kind. I think it helped my husband let go a little by my saying it how it is. I hope so anyway.
I hope you had a very Happy Christmas. God’s abundant blessing for 2018. Thanks so much for popping by. 💖
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😁
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