Hello readers. There is quite alot going on in my MEcfs vending machine brain at the moment. My post MEcfs – My Brain – A Comedy gives an insight. It currently feels like a fairground game, where the grabber slowly picks up the toy and drops it in the slot for your delight (or not). Giving you no choice. Currently my cogs randomly choose any property we might be considering and decides THIS one is the focus of your cognitive energy today. But… nope, this one. Oookay.
MEcfs Crash
As you may have read, we are in the process of searching for a new home. The location of which is limited by my travel capacity. Which on a ‘I think the MEcfs might wear that‘ day, is between one and seven miles, in each direction. Any more than that and I risk a massive crash, which can take weeks to recover from. And thus setting recovery from the current relapse further and further back. Suffice to say, I don’t get out very often. But am thankful when I can.
Decision Making Experience
I am slowly easing out of a crash such as this, now into week three, but it is gradually lifting (I hope). This was following the best viewing we had had so far. And for myself, unsurprisingly, there have been few. The agent was so considerate, understanding and knowledgeable. A young person who will go far, I am absolutely sure. Being given enough time, which I need as my cognition can be slow as is my physical capacity, is essential and so appreciated. It’s a big decision which one needs to feel sure about.
The Unexpected
Something which also contributed to the crash, which literally was a pole axe type crash, was a very unexpected and incredibly difficult interaction online. In a setting one would not anticipate. Without going into detail, it had a domino effect on my cognition. As I had to raise the matter with a body of people, which became a little protracted. Involving thinking and communicating.
Another Challenge
I await to see the outcome in full in time, but hopefully not too long. The upshot of that is, if something isn’t right, say so. As there will undoubtedly be others who feel similarly and may have been reluctant to raise it. But don’t sit alone with it. Speak. It isn’t easy, but essential. It has left me feeling a bit ‘what’ and a little disillusioned! But that’s life I guess. Nothing is ever perfect. And however well you plan and pace, life can chuck a huge spanner in the works.
Several people reached out with love, consideration and support. Which I appreciated so much, and which helped a great deal. But it still took its toll mentally. As, folk who have MEcfs experience PEM ~ Post Exertional Malaise. Which unpleasantly present following both physical or cognitive ‘activity’, or both. I’m not talking marathons. It is as a result of every aspect of daily life with MEcfs.
Finding A Beautiful Church
Anyhoo. Moving on. During our travels (they feel like travels to me) before the aforementioned awful crash, we did a tiny bit of exploring and came a cross a beautiful church in the heart of Essex. The area we were driving through is green, lush and stunning. It follows not far from the various inlets of the Blackwater Estuary. It reminded us that when possible, we need to try to explore more, because we had forgotten how much beauty is virtually on our doorstep. And why we moved to this area many years ago.
I would love to veer off at every church signpost we happen across, and perhaps energy permitting we will. Plus more.
I hope you enjoy the photos. Experiences like this keep me going.
Images
Church Thoughts
It was closed, but is fully accessible. Contradiction in terms, lol! But seriously, I do hope to visit in full one day. Amazingly wheelchair friendly path. I could have quite happily have sat in the fresh air there and contemplated for an hour! So peaceful, beautiful air and what a view. Abberton reservoir is just down the road from there. I keep that all in my go to in my mind for when I need it.
Have a great day, thank you for stopping by and see you soon.
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Have a blessed day⚘
A few of my latest posts…
- May – ME Awareness Month
- Thoughts of Family on the 80th Anniversary of VE Day
- Light Changes Everything
- Comparison – the Thief of Joy
- Happy Easter
Hope found in M.E. 
I totally relate to the moving experience. We put our house on the market in March but by mid June I was too stressed about it all.
A viewing meant I had to leave the house and this was extremely challenging since I’m predominantly bed bound. We viewed a few properties as I would like to live in a quieter area preferably with a view.
A recent UTI made me think about the location I desire. Although I didn’t need the hospital I have been in twice this year already.
The whole process of moving is stressful even for healthy people.
I reluctantly told my husband that I’m actually too sick to move.
When I phoned the agent to say we were pulling out, I was hugely relieved.
It felt this big weight had been lifted.
We’re not ruling out moving but for me this isn’t the right time. I hope there will be a right time one day!
Good luck Penny with the whole journey of moving. Thinking of you.
xxxx
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Thanks so much, Fiona. It really is a toughie. And I am struggling with the whole process. I am predominantly based in our bedroom too. As you know, last year was really bad. But, a move will hopefully mean that Pete can see retirement on the horizon. Even though still a few years away.
I have had to be honest about not being able to move far. I just have basically zero travel tolerance. And when on a viewing I had forgotten to put in precautionary rests during transit. That I must remember in the future. But I struggle to be ready on time as it is. But hopefully the right place is waiting not too far away. At the moment viewings are on a haitus while I recover from this crash within the relapse. Moving Home really is all consuming. If only it were more enjoyable.
Packing will have to be done by other people, as I can do absolutely none. So we shall see. Bit of a rock and a hard place. Several friends have offered to help so that’s something atleast. Who knows, we might have achieved it by this time next year & hopefully fairly unscathed. If Jamieson Hill can do it, moving half way across the US, I tell myself so can I! I hope!
Thanks so much for your thoughtful & honest message, Fiona. I hope you have recovered from the UTI. Hospital visits are so draining. I feel for you. I lost count of the number of Paramedic visits last year & those funny chats in the ambulance. Such incredible people. Angels in green!
I’m hoping to keep some sort of log on the blog as we journey through the process. Help!!
Love & gentle hugs from here. 😘 xxxx
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The photos are beautiful. Good luck finding a house.
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Thank you so much, really kind of you.
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