Thoughts from the week

Hello everyone, I am back again sharing some Thoughts From the week. There have been highs and challenges, and I have again come to my lovely platform on WordPress to share my ramblings. I hope you enjoy them and thank you as ever for stopping by to read. Here we go.

Talking Therapy

I officially began talking therapy recently to help with anxiety that I have been experiencing for a few months now. All this since a really big flare-up of a new condition back in July of last year, 2025, which involved several visits from paramedics and visits to A&E by ambulance.

I now have new diagnosises, plus previous diagnosis and treatments scrapped, with new protocols now in place. My thanks to two Respiratory Consultants and the team at Addenbrookes Hospital who are helping me navigate a challenging time. And the various technicians. Special note to the specialist Nurse who guided me through a methocolene challenge. It wasn’t easy. But he coached me every step of the way. I think the whole corridor probably heard the ‘keep going, Penny, you can do it’! Haha! So lots going on.

I’m beginning to use the journal I’ve been sent through by my talking therapist, to tentatively note down thoughts and sensations. I’m hopeful in the next session we’ll start to work through it, and that I will be offered strategies to help me a little bit more.

But I also seek out other therapeutic ways to help ease my overloaded nervous system at the same time. I’m beginning to understand that it’s a collaborative approach for the body, that all works together for good.

I feel for people who experience anxiety. I had no idea how debilitating it can be. None at all. So I look up more stuff, I listen to audio books. I try different strategies such as five, four, three, two, one, which is helpful.

Name 5 things you can see here and now.
Name 4 things you can hear here and now.
Name 3 things you can feel here and now.
Name 2 things you can smell here and now.
Name 1 thing you can taste here and now.

I’ve read that gentle regular practices will eventually help.

I’m so thankful that we have a lovely garden where I can go and decompress, temperatures permitting, and that I can get into. I know a lot of people don’t have that or they can’t.

I wonder around slowly, I look at our fish pond, I pause in our summer house, feed the birds and just generally pootle about. Do a bit of body shaking, deep breaths. Along with my respiratory and speech therapy physiotherapy, all help my body to relax and break free from the sense that it needs to keep bracing. Which it doesn’t. Even my dentist noticed the tension. Much of it around my neck, shoulders and jaw. But I’m getting there. Having MEcfs presents the need to pace all of this, and I am learning to.

Since writing the paragraphs above, I have begun to make progress. And with thanks to WaterColour Healing on insta my creativity is tentatively breaking through again. So, therapy seems to be helping begin to unravel things and unlock options!

For anyone out there who is experiencing anxiety, you have my compassion and my empathy. I hope for all of us, definitely better days are coming. When our bodies can relax into life and not be on guard all the time.

Ditching the Unnecessary

Following on from that. In the words of Henry Cloud, author of Boundaries ~

“Most people stay far too long in something that’s draining them — a relationship that’s turned toxic, a job that’s crushing their spirit, a dream that’s dead but still dragging them along. They call it “not quitting,” thinking it’s loyalty or resilience. But here’s the truth: wisdom knows when to walk away.

Quitting what’s killing you isn’t failure — it’s freedom.

It’s how you create space for something better to grow. Stop labeling necessary endings as losses. Sometimes, letting go is the bravest thing you’ll ever do.“

Folk may know that I stayed in a community situation far too long. Please see When Enough is Enough. Well…yes, I lingered and left a door ajar. Not the best option. And consequently experienced yet more rubbish. Was it unexpected? I’m not really sure. Probably. So now, I really am done.

My only decision, having deactivated three community profiles, is whether to delete an fb group completely or invite a new admin, and leave. Not sure. Thoughts welcome. My gut says delete it, as you can’t archive groups anymore. Just pause them. But then, that’s just delaying a decision anyway. The organisation concerned can sort out community communication for themselves!

I seriously have done more than enough. And should have shut everything down four years ago. But didn’t, continuing to feel a sense of responsibility…for a wood. I am very pleased that this time, in the main, I have acted. I just need to tie up the lose ends, and that will be that. Aaaah…and relax. Then focus on other far more enjoyable pursuits! Such as…writing! And visiting my children! Woop!…hence the Henry Cloud quote!

A week on, and local folk have kindly stepped in to enable me to relinquish a group I have manned for 5 years, along with all the associated stress, but a group which is still needed by the community. The words of thanks from folk have been so unexpected and so incredibly kind. I am still pinching myself. And know I have done the right thing in letting go too. There is a season for things. And my five year season of fighting is done.

Jeep in the dust — *Weeeee…freedom! Seee ya!*

Dogs Trust

In light of my previous thoughts, a couple of weeks ago, I really felt the need to meet some doggos. We lost our most beautiful sighthound getting on for a year ago. And we miss her so much.

Our gorgeous fawn sighthound — *Our beautiful doggo*

Due to our situation impacted by my health challenges, we’re not sure whether we can or should commit to adopting another dog, but I really wanted to have the opportunity just to be around them. You forget their mannerisms. Your memories become softened and almost sugar coated. So you forget the poopy paws and the whining and just their general busyness and movement. But also that adorable ebulliance of a doggo. I just love them. And hope there is a way forward for us.

So off we went to our local Dogs Trust rescue centre. We’ve never adopted from them before. But we felt it’s quite a good place to go casually to meet with dogs without feeling uncomfortable, or obligated or that you’re being in nuisance. They were very welcoming and relaxed there. With absolutely no pressure.

Interestingly when we arrived none other than Pete Wicks, who presents the television series ‘For Dogs Sake‘, was standing just by the foyer. I did a double take, beamed and trued not to look too delighted! Haha! You know, me in my wheelchair, looking really cool!! Unfortunately he was speaking on the phone, so despite my excitement, I didn’t want to approach and ask for a photograph because he was occupied. But it was really nice to see him there, it made it a very special trip.

After that initial surprise, we said hello to a few doggos through their protective screens, because obviously you can’t be introduced to you formally forca fuss sadly. It would confuse the dog.

It was lovely just to take a very slow *wheel around (*manual wheelchair on that day), read the information about the dogs, look at them and talk to them. I’m not sure if they could hear us, but we enjoyed being around them. There were some absolute beauties there.

Whether we’d be able to or are suited to adopting again, I have no idea. But we are researching and thinking about it. But there are other things to consider regarding my health, which is frustrating, but you have to be realistic.

So we shall see I guess watch this space. But it was a really lovely thing to do and I felt very uplifted by it so no doubt will probably go there again and have a little wander around. And maybe that will be my dog fix for now for the time being we’ll see.

Footnote. Following the visit, my more noticeable allergies flared up for about a week. There had been quite a strong doggo aroma there, and unfortunately I didn’t wear a mask. Even though I had one in my pocket. So that has also now become a greater consideration. We shall see.

Latest Jigsaws

My latest jigsaw offering. I didn’t particularly enjoy this one. I think because it had larger pieces so it meant that the image that you were creating was slightly over magnified. So you lost the crispness of it. But I persevered and it is now complete. It is now packed away.

Country Cottage Jigsaw Puzzle — *Ravensburger Puzzle*

I have commenced with one of my more favorite whimsical puzzles…which is now complete!

Closing Thoughts

TOILETS: please don’t put auto close hinges on the doors of disabled loos. As a wheelchair user, manual or power, it’s pretty difficult to hold the door open (alone) and get in, while the door closes on you like a ton weight! Juggling act much. Lol! And I’m ambulatory. Much harder if you’re not.♿️🚽🫧🧼 😎

INADVERTENT ABLEISM: I need to find a way to gently highlight and educate on inadvertent ableism, that folk may not realise is being conveyed in some contexts. Unintentional I’m sure, but still a bit jarring. We’re back on loos again! Haha! It’s a full time job being disabled, lol!