Thoughts for the Week and other fiascos!

Hello! Here I am again with some thoughts over a number of weeks. My random ramblings. Contains whinging!

Empty Nester

As one of our young folk settles into a new location, the empty nesting kicked back in. As did the ME version of a straight jacket. So I found myself balling my eyes out in the garden. A garden I am incredibly grateful for and to be able to access. Because neither could I go to help drop our youngster and their ‘yellow storage’ off, which I have never been able to do with living with MEcfs, or go to collect my newly adjusted wedding band. (It had to be cut off over a decade ago. And as is ME, I haven’t been up to getting it repaired!) All dressed up and falling asleep. It would have been a dangerous move to have pushed through. But equally hard was the mental fall out.

I think my neighbours probably heard my sobs and cussing. But quite honestly…too bad! 22 years is quite enough for anyone. So out it poured. I asked God ‘what actually is my purpose in this shadow state of my former self‘, could you illuminate me please? One day it will become clear. Or not!

Accessible shopping experience

Referring back to the dismantled wedding band. We visited a local jewellers a few weeks ago to pursue said repair. I often become a little nervous about new places. Basically because, as a wheelchair user, manual assisted and power depending on the day, accessibility is frequently a complete unknown.

This particular *~~shop~~ erm store (Motherland reference) was quite vast. With good access and spartan counters. Fine. But what was and is equally spartan, eye level accessibility for wheelchair users. Groan. Not again! Not a waist height desk or interaction area in sight. So my enquiries had to be conducted with me parked away from the counter, craning my neck to enable eye contact. Or I would have been engaging with a glass display cabinet. No, not engaged. That would be weird.

I have become so well acquainted with walls – painted or not, textured counters with a variety of veneers, scratched edges, MDF. You name it. Which your wheelchair footrest bumps into because there is no recess. Because IT’S NOT ACCESSIBLE! We’re on first name terms. Except they never reply for some reason. Rude!

Anyway. I digress.

The staff pleasant as they were, were a bit rushy, distracted and spoke far too quickly and quietly. Looming over me like a two-year-old. Even though we were two of only three customers. Hello! I AM the customer. This is MEANT to be a shopping *experience. Not an express self-service 10 items or less checkout of oven chips and bog roll in Tesco. Sorry I’m not spending thousands, but I am old. Lol! Well-ish.

I persevered. Juggling my precious items on my already cluttered lap. ie, handbag, cardie, water, sun hat. Hence dropping items precious to me. Not aided by my damaged left hand. Did I enjoy the ‘experience’? A resounding – NO. Do I want to go again. NO. But may have to. And the question remains – do I advocate, or let it go? My gut says – advocate! Sigh. Not again! With my husband visiting them today on my behalf, as I’m not well enough to go with him, only to find they are closed! Oh my days!

*I did drop in subtly that I worked in high end jewellery and watch retail many moons ago. Too much information?

The View from here and elsewhere

I wrote a ➡️ poem a few weeks ago. It really does speak for itself. I felt hesitant in making it public. But took courage, and have done so.

Spectacles

Where do I begin. In fairness to this organisation they are trying to sort out the chaotic debacle, that has been trying to order and be in receipt of my new spectacles. So I’m not going to name anyone. That again it has been a chaotic.

I’m beginning to wonder if my calling in life is to attempt to teach people about the experience for disabled people when making purchases and accessing services which are there to make our lives better, and don’t. It doesn’t work and piles even more pressure on people who can scant afford it. But anyway I hope that within a few weeks I will be furnished with what I need and this whole saga will be done with. I won’t bore you with it all, because it’s gone on for too long. It has been tortuous and just utterly ridiculous. #FirstWorldProblems

Ableism

The image says it all really. Ableism really does feel like the never ending story. Yesterday was a case in point. At my GP practice of all places. Not a complaint about the medical treatment. That was very caring. It’s an observation and partial rant about being ambushed on arrival in said treatment room about my capacity to actually get to the GP practice. Have they read my notes? Honestly, it’s like the ‘I know a song that will get on your nerves’…the Pearl and Dean Ads. If you know, you know. Aka the 1970s. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba babababa!

It felt really personal, and it was, as I sat there defending myself, (my husband had already tried), prior to embarking on a very much delayed (I’m talking years) test involving a speculum. Again, if you know, you know. A test I couldn’t have done at home, so had no choice than to get there, assisted. All this explained, yet again. To say the reception was off putting is an understatement. I had built up for this. And this scenario had not been on my radar, among the many my thinking mind had considered!

Needless to say I HAVE SENT FEEDBACK – politely. Yet again. Oh, and the treatment room wasn’t accessible. Soooo! Would they like accessible design assistance? It’s not difficult. It’s called keeping doorways clear of cupboards and bins. And not assuming someone can or is up to getting our of their wheelchair. Oh and MEcfs is an *ELC – energy limiting condition, and I need assistance to go anywhere, when the limited energy allows. Click, click, click goes the stylus on the scratched record…

Turntable, vinyl and stylus — Yes, the attitude feels that antiquated!

The End!

To close on a cheerier note.

Wildlife Area and Contemplative Sanctuary

The area is beginning to slowly take shape. We inherited it as a rather overgrown area, as was the pond. Overrun with beautiful, but out of control yellow Irises. They have had to since be removed from the pond, thanks to some great pond guys, as they occupied almost half of it. Blocking the water flow.

But with the wildlife pond, due to the hot weather we have had this past summer, and not being able to justify filling it as there were no fish living in it, it has completely evaporated to a muddy, drying bog at the bottom. Very soon it is being tidied. Now done thanks to our gardener friend. With the mud being removed, which occuppied probably about a third of the pond.

Once we can use a hosepipe again, as we currently have a ban, due to drought conditions. It will be refilled and restocked with appropriate plants and marginals. Also depending on whether the liner survives the interim renovation. It doesn’t I’m not entirely sure what we will do I imagine replace the liner but we may convert it into partial flower bed and partial solid smaller liner to make it more accessible for wildlife because it is rather deep. We shall see.

*The liner has survived so far, phew, and a few plants initially added in the two inch depth of water.

I’m also hoping to have a little perching bench placed, for contemplative purposes, in the corner behind our tree which is a Field Maple. I’d also quite like to put a little statue in somewhere. I will keep you posted.